We aren't the only ones who've lost a Baby Nate...

This is an excerpt from a blog post from a family who lost their Baby Nate over a year ago. He died after living only 25 days. Trisha (the mother) was able to capture how we felt in such detail that I wanted to share a part of her blog post. She wants to educate people on what to do when someone you know loses a child. She also tries to explain what the grief process is like. Like I said, I'm just posting excerpts from her blog (hopefully it won't be to choppy to follow). When she publishes the entire blog post I'm going to try and post a link to it on here.





"I've often explained the grief of losing a child to others in a few ways:

• It's like losing a leg. It's painful. It hurts. You are now an amputee. You are never whole again. It takes a long time to learn to walk again. Sometimes you fall down. Sometimes you can run. You learn to live without it but it never grows back. Your life moves forward but part of you is always missing.

• Or...it's like playing in a football game. You're on the field battling. You're exhausted and out of fuel. Sometimes you have a good run and go forward a few yards. Sometimes you get sacked and you're flat on your back. There are many people in the stands cheering you on. They want you to succeed. But they're sitting comfortably in their seats and eating their hot dogs. You need people to help you strategize. You need people to bring you water. A few help coach you. But most people stay comfortably in their seats while you're fighting for your life on the field. You feel all alone.

• But...I think that the best way to describe it is like you're drowning."

"When Nate died it felt like someone dropped us off in the ocean 1000 miles from shore and said swim back."

"We struggled to keep our heads above water. Some days we were stronger than others but most days we were drowning."

"It was hard for us to see what our lives used to be like. How we used to have fun with friends. How we used to laugh and rejoice in our many blessings. We couldn't relate to that. We were so far removed from that joy and happiness, it was hard to be around it. We couldn't ever imagine being happy or joyful again."

"At present, we are still swimming. There are days when the sea's are very rough. Sometimes we are tussled around in the waves or swept off course by the current. Some days we are pushed under water by people or circumstances. It's still hard to get back to the surface. We can see the shore now. It's a long way away. It will take us thousands of strokes to get there. When we arrive, we will be tired but stronger. We will never be the same."

"-It's important to know that everyone deals with grief/tragedy differently. Some avoid, some take anti-depressants, some isolate, some are suicidal. It's really hard to judge if people are doing well. I've talked with a lot of families and most have had similar experiences to ours. Even our counselor agreed that most people that experience grief at a young age lose a large portion of their friends & family. People just don't know how to deal with it. I believe that this is why God put the book Job in the bible. He knew that people would fail to help the grief-stricken. That's actually a really good book to read for anyone that wants to understand the pain and torment. I relate a lot to Job!-"