update

So...Tuesday I ended up having to go to the ER. The swelling was out of control and I was dehydrated. The pain was just unbearable. I woke up Tuesday morning shaking and covered in sweat. My dear sweet friend H. came over and took me to the hospital and stayed with me until Bryant arrived. The gave me fluids and a ton of steroids. I left feeling really discouraged because I didn't think it had really help that much. Yesterday when I woke up ALL of the swelling was gone. The pain is much more manageable now. I am just ready to be well. I am ready to be able to eat and drink normal stuff and to have energy again. One positive thing from all of this is that I had lost 8 lbs...until I went to the ER and got pumped up with fluids. I think I'm only down about 4 - 5 lbs now. At this point - I don't care about weight. I am ready to eat normal food again. I'm hoping that soon I will be able to close the book on the whole tonsillectomy process...

My grandma is making improvements. She has been moved to a rehab facility. She has therapy from 9 - 3 everyday. I am really glad that she is able to get this type of help. I'm traveling down there tomorrow to see her.

Thanks everyone for all of the sweet comments and well wishes. It means a lot to know so many of you out there care!

Grandma

My heart is extremely heavy tonight. I received a call from my mom yesterday morning saying that they had to take my grandmother to the hospital by ambulance. We know now that sometime Friday morning she had a stroke.

I embarrassed to say that in the past I haven't had lot of compassion when I would get emails about people's great aunts or uncles or grandparents having health problems. It is horrible but it's so true. These things have become so common that it seems like just something else to add to a never ending prayer list. Since losing Nate, I've realized that I really wasn't nearly as compassionate as I thought I was. There were so many times when people around me were hurting or in need and I didn't even seem to notice. I hate to say it but I even though I'm trying to do better about this - I still drop the ball a lot. It is so different when the need is something so close to your heart. I know how much I want and hope that people are praying for her. It makes me want to do better about being present in my friends lives and walking with them through the good and bad times. It makes me want to really show compassion on a daily basis.

My Grandma. She really is one of the greatest people I know. She has impacted my life in a million different ways. I am so happy to have been named after her. (Courtney "Irene") My grandma is 89 years old but she has NEVER seemed old to me. It's only been the past couple of years that she has even started having health problems. I think she was 85 when she was admitted to the hospital for the first time in her life for a knee replacement surgery. She has always been such a source of stability to me. My grandma has always been there. She loves Jesus...they have such a wonderful relationship. I've been so blessed to watch her faith grow and build through the trials she has had to face in her life.

It is so hard not being able to be with her right now. I am not able to travel because of how difficult and challenging my recovery has proven to be. It's hard to know that she can't communicate well and has lost all mobility. I don't want this for her. I don't want her to have to endure this. I don't understand why she is having to go through this. I keep asking Mama if she is upset or scared. She isn't. She handles everything with such grace and has such a sense of practicality about the events of life.


I know I am rambling tonight. I'm sorry. I ask you for your prayers. I don't want my grandma to have to finish her years here on Earth not being able to live. I want her to be able to walk and talk again.
They are planning on moving her into a rehabilitation facility on Wednesday. They will start working with her on strength and mobility. Also, pray for our family. I know that things are changing. No matter how much I prepare myself - I'm not ready for this. I want to have my grandma with me for a long time. I want her to see my babies and be with us for many more years.



Day 6 of recovery has been the worst day so far. I'm sure being worried and upset about Grandma has added to this as well. I am hoping that I will begin to get some type of pain relief tomorrow. I'm also praying that the swelling will go down. This has just been really tough. I wish I had better words to describe it.

Recovery Day 4

horrible....

I don't even have the energy to write about Day 3 but today (Day 4) has been horrible.
The liquid pain medication the doctor prescribed isn't strong enough to really do anything so they called in a stronger pain medicine (pill form) on Tuesday. It is so strong that if I take it I'm nauseous and can barely keep my eyes from crossing. Also, it makes me sleep. Sleep is not a good thing. Anytime I sleep I wake up with the most horrible pains in my throat and ears due to my throat drying out. I am starting to wonder if something is not infected in the back of my throat. It is so gross. I almost gag when I look back there. Bryant is worried that I need to get in to see the doctor tomorrow before the weekend gets here....Which would mean him having to take off work tomorrow to take me...not good!

I really hope that this will get better. I keep hearing and reading online that this could go on for three weeks! I hope and pray that it starts improving...soon!

(I'm sorry - my posts for the next few days are probably going to be just a huge complaining session. I completely understand if you want to just skip over my blog for the next two weeks....)

Recovery Day 1 & 2

Thank you for your prayers. The surgery went wonderfully. I didn't even have to wait. The second I got to the hospital they took me back and it felt like a matter of minutes and I was in recovery. The pain that I felt when I woke up in recovery was UNBELIEVABLE. This recovery process so far has been no joke. Day 1 was horrible. I had absolutely no pain relief all day long. I only slept about 2 1/2 hours last night because I keep waking up due to the burning and throbbing pain in my throat and ears. This morning my sweet angel of a husband called the doctor and got them to call in a stronger pain medicine. I have gotten some relief from that today which has been nice. I am only able to eat/drink slimfast, sugar free popsicles and a very small amount of plain, extra soupy, instant mashed potatoes.....I have been completely nauseated since about 3 pm and the phenergan hasn't helped much at all. It seriously looks like a hand grenade went off in the back of my throat. It's nasty. Bryant was so shocked when he looked in my mouth. He went online and made sure that is what it's supposed to look like after the surgery. The nurse told Bryant that Day 3 - 5 will be worse than today...looks like more fun times ahead. This has been a very rough 48 hours. It seems like this is going to be a longer process than I thought it would be. Through it all though - I am very thankful that I am so blessed. I am able to go to a doctor, have medicine prescribed to me and have a husband that is able to take time off to take care of me. I don't know what I would have done without Bryant. He has been a lifesaver. More updates will come later....

On a very sad and happy note...our dear Mr. N passed away last night. Mr. N was one of the most excellent teachers that Bryant and I had the privilege of having teach us. He and Mrs. Barb are family to us. He will be greatly missed. The happy part of this is that he is with Jesus now. No more pain - No more tears!

surgery

I'm nervous. I am not looking forward to going to the hospital in the morning. I'm not nervous about the surgery just at the thought of being a "patient" at the hospital again. I do not have happy memories of that place. I would appreciate your prayers in the morning.

Hopefully, I'll be able to update everyone on how the surgery went and how the recovery process is going in a day or two.

I appreciate all of you so much!

seven things

Thank you Trisha for giving me this award and for your sweet words about me. I appreciate you so much. You have been such a great friend to me through this journey.

The rules are if you get this award you have to tell seven things about yourself on your blog.


1. I have a very loud and outgoing personality but I get extremely nervous when I meet new people.

2. I keep a very clean house but my closet is always a disaster.

3. I am still afraid of the dark. I also do not watch or read any type of scary or horror type book or movie.

4. I knew I was going to marry my husband on our first date.

5. I would love to live out in the country, have a huge barn and have tons of animals.

6. I would rather email someone then talk on the phone.

7. I would love to open a bakery, coffee shop or some type of restaurant one day.


I am about to start tackling the huge to-do list that I need to finish before Monday morning. I found out that I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 am and that my surgery should start around 8:15 am. I'm so happy because I am not a nice person when I'm not allowed to drink coffee or eat. I was so worried they were going to schedule my surgery sometime in the afternoon! Bryant is out right now getting all of the things I'm going to need for the recovery. Thanks to everyone for the book recommendations. I'm looking forward to reading a bunch of great books.

Congratulations to our dear friends E. & K. Baby Ethan arrived on Thursday and is doing great!

book recommendations...please!

I'm trying to get things together for my surgery next week.
I need book recommendations.
I love to read and I'm always looking for new authors.
I do not like any mystery, crime or horror type books...so please leave those out.

I've been very anxious about going back to the hospital on Monday. I'm also really nervous because I'm going back as a patient. I've been trying to focus on the fact that I should be so thankful that I have the ability to be a patient in a hospital. I am so sad for the people in Haiti. It seems like such a hopeless situation. Thankfully, we know that there is Hope.

My dear friend E. is at the hospital right now. Praying for a healthy delivery for Baby Ethan!

Haiti

Thinking about all of the people in Haiti today. It's so sad to think about all of the destruction and devastation they are dealing with. Praying for them...

goodbye tonsils..

Thank you so much for all of the prayers, comments and sweet messages. Our appointment went really well yesterday. We will have to wait a few weeks to get results from the tests and blood work.

I just got back from my appointment with the ENT doctor. I will be getting my tonsils taken out on Monday. I'm nervous but I'm so ready to be over all of these tonsil and throat infections. I'm not looking forward to the recovery...I've heard it's pretty rough. It will definitely be worth it though if it will help me stay well.....

new year - new blog

What do you think about the new blog? I was ready for something new. Kelsey did a fantastic job. Bless her heart...I'm sure she is ready for a blog design vacation after working with me. Her button is on my sidebar...go and check her out.

I am currently dealing with the fourth throat related infection since the first of December. It looks like I will be getting my tonsils out in the very near future. I'm hoping that this will cut down on the amount of infections I've been getting. I also found out that I was very low in Vitamin D and that I'm having some thyroid issues. These are all things that play a huge part in how your immune system works. It is never good to hear that your body isn't doing what it's supposed to but at least it is a small piece to the puzzle of why I am sick all of the time.

Bryant and I are heading to Atlanta on Monday to see a reproductive endocrinologist. I didn't feel like at the time this was something I wanted to share but in December I found out I was pregnant again. It was a huge mix of emotions. Just as it was starting to sink in the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was very early but the emotional toll has been huge. This is the second miscarriage I've had. The first one happened four and a half years ago. It's really difficult because my case doesn't fit any certain type of mold. Bryant and I still don't really have any answers as to why any of this has happened. I know we may not find out anything but I will feel better to do everything I can.
Bryant and I cannot believe that it's been eight months since we loss Nate. We also can't believe that it's been eight months and we don't have another baby on the way. It's tough. Hopefully, we will find out something more when we go on Monday. Please pray for us. This appointment brings a lot of apprehension and anxiety with it.


"So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord."
- Psalm 31:24

"Wait for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."
-Psalm 27:14

prayer request & news

Please continue to keep baby Calla Jayne and her parents in your prayers.
This is one of the many families that reached out to us after we lost Nate.

Also, I am so happy for The Macs! Baby Levi is here!
I do not know them personally but their blog is so inspiring and encouraging.

My heart is so heavy for a dear friend of mine right now.
It is so hard to understand why something like this would be happening to such
a wonderful and kind person. I'm trying to stay positive and hope for the best.

To my sweet friend:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11
I am thinking about you and praying for you right now.