Over the past two years I been in a lot of doctor's offices. I've seen a lot of nurses and medical professionals. There hasn't been an appointment that I don't have a huge sadness almost overwhelm me. It's been tough. I never imagined I would be in this place at 26. I'm so immune to tests, procedures and having blood drawn. It's almost like I don't even feel the needles anymore. That's not normal. I've done a lot of thinking and reflecting over the past two years while waiting to see doctors. The question that always pops into my mind is.."How did I get here?". The worst part is when I sit down with the nurse. She starts asking all of the normal questions..."How many surgeries have you had?", "What medicines do you take?", "What are the major medical conditions you've experienced?".....and my all-time favorite "How many pregnancies?", which is always followed by.. "How many live births?" It always stings to have to write 4 pregnancies - 0 live births. The worst visits are when the nurse asks me all of these questions instead of me just filling out a form. I can't tell you how many nurses that have been brought to tears from hearing our story. I've become so used to it that I'm sure at times I come across very cold & calloused. I've totally missed what an incredible opportunity I've been given. In the past week I was able to have a conversation with a nurse that has stayed with me. I had finished telling her all of my medical drama and she asked, "Can the Lord really give you the strength and peace to get through delivering a dead baby? Can He really make a difference in your life?" I realized at that moment even in all of the craziness the Lord is working. It's so easy to forget that there are people all around us everyday searching for something. I am praying that the Lord will help me be more intentional with the people I come in contact with. I'm seeing more and more everyday how the Lord is fulfilling His promises to us. He is working things for our good. I am so thankful that He is always faithful...even when I'm not faithful to Him. Bryant and I are praying that the Lord will continue to use our lives and our story for His glory.
" We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him.
They are the people he called, because that was his plan."
Romans 8:28