Thoughts from a Cloud.......

what a day!

2012-02-11T00:14:00.000-06:00

Our family grew by two this week!
Welcome to the family Baby EK and Baby D!
Both of B's sisters went into labor and delivered babies within 30 minutes of each other on Thursday! I still can't believe it worked out this way. One sister was due on the 12th and the other sister was due on the 19th.

We are so thankful for two healthy babies!

things from a cloud

2012-02-06T14:19:00.001-06:00

I'm adding new stuff to our Things From a Cloud store today! If you haven't gone to our business blog please do so! www.thingsfromacloud.com

It has definitely been a typical Monday morning for me today...I have got to find some more energy!

2012-02-05T20:17:00.000-06:00

Since I haven't had much time to blog lately, I thought I would at least post some pictures. These are pictures from our recent trip to Kentucky to see Sister-Woman, D. Piddy & SJP. I cannot believe that she is almost 7 months old!

It is going by so fast.

I wish Kentucky was closer! The 8-9 hour drive is tough...definitely worth it though.

happy birthday

2012-02-03T14:21:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday to my Mama!

You are the best Mama in the entire world. I love you!

I love these pictures! I couldn't believe how great they were when I was going through all of the images from our trip home for Thanksgiving. Sweet girls.

So excited to announce...

2012-01-26T07:58:00.000-06:00

Bryant and I are so excited to announce our new business, Things From a Cloud. This has been a dream of ours for a very long time! Please help us spread the word!

Check us out on Etsy, Facebook & Twitter!

www.etsy.com/shop/thingsfromacloud
twitter @fromacloud
Facebook - "Things From a Cloud" page

dudley dog

2012-01-13T19:53:00.001-06:00

Happy 7th Birthday Dudley!

SJP

2012-01-11T22:54:00.000-06:00

SJP is almost six months old! It's going by so fast....

2012

2012-01-11T14:25:00.000-06:00

Here we go again....

Another new year to hope and dream about what could be!

I didn't make any resolutions this year. I don't want one more thing on my list these days.

Hopefully, I will have some fun and exciting stuff to announce soon!

(No, I'm not pregnant...)

Happy 2012 to all of you!

Merry Christmas 2011!

2011-12-25T14:28:00.000-06:00

a first...after eight & a half years together

2011-12-20T09:37:00.000-06:00

Bryant and I will be sending Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in Auburn...alone. This is a first for us. We have never had a Christmas with just the two of us. It's seems fitting this year to do something completely different than the normal routine. Christmas will be different for our entire family this year. Grandma loved Christmas. I get my crazy love for the holiday from her. She believed that every single room in your house should be full of decorations and Christmas cheer! I remember the first time she came to Auburn and saw our apartment decorated for Christmas. She was extremely proud to see multiple trees and garland hanging over every doorway, window and bookshelf. I've sent her pictures of my Christmas decor the last couple of years since she hasn't been able to travel. One of the people that spoke at her funeral pointed out how fitting it was that the church was decorated for Christmas on the day of her service. Grandma hosted Christmas Eve at her house every year. As a child, I looked forward to this event sometimes even more than Christmas morning. You never knew if there would be 30 people or 75 people at Christmas Eve. There was always singing, laughter, food and Grandma reading the Christmas Story out of a huge Bible that only got used on Christmas Eve. All of the grandchildren were required to show off some sort of talent...playing an instrument, singing, reciting a poem...etc. Grandma instructed me to make sure events like this still happened in our family. A few weeks before she passed she told me she knew these traditions would still go on because of Aunt Karen and myself. For those of you that know us, you will understand.
This year we will be in Auburn due to the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services at our church. Most people don't realize this but working at a church is a lot like working retail....every weekend & all holidays. It will be good to be busy. Mama and Daddy are coming to Auburn on their way to Kentucky to see SJP for Christmas. They are going to spend a few days with us after Christmas too.
Bryant and I have been very busy working on Christmas gifts. I wanted to do handmade gifts for Christmas. I haven't stuck to this 100% but I've been pretty close! I will try to post some pictures of what we've made.
I hope you are enjoying this holiday season!

"For a child has been born—for us! The gift of a son—for us!
He'll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness!"

Isaiah 9:6-7 The Message

Merry Christmas

2011-12-19T10:23:00.000-06:00

Photography by my fabulous friend Heather Carson - Carson Studios

Grandma

2011-12-14T09:56:00.000-06:00

My Grandma left this world around 4:45 am yesterday morning. She was surrounded by her children and my Papa when she took her final breath. We are sad and our hearts are grieving. In the midst of the sadness, pain and grief, we know that she is with Jesus. She is healed and restored! We know that we will see her again one day.

We are so thankful that Jesus has conquered death and the grave!

Bryant and I will be heading home today. The funeral will be tomorrow at 2:00 pm. I hate funerals so much now. I'm praying that tomorrow goes by quickly. Thanks again for all of your kind words.

Summer

2011-12-12T10:09:00.000-06:00

Blog friends....

I need you to help me pray for a precious friend who is dealing with some major stuff right now. Summer is a wife to Jeremy, a mom to four babies here and one baby girl in heaven. She found out she has stage three cervical cancer about two weeks ago. She has a Caring Bridge website to help keep everyone updated. She is getting her first dose of chemo right now.
Here is an article that one of her friends wrote:

Over 10 years ago my wife, Jodie, baby sat “Baby Taylor” for our new friends Jeremy and Summer Kempfer. Summer would drive over to our home, drop Baby Taylor off and the prayer meeting began! Jodie literally prayed over Taylor, prayed for the Kempfer family and prayed that Summer and Jeremy would come to know Jesus.
And guess what…GOD MOVED!
Yep! Summer and Jeremy both saw their need for Christ and surrendered their lives to Him. That day in history is etched into my mind forever! Just like YESTERDAY is etched into my mind forever!
Yesterday was the day that I found out that Summer was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. As I type this, it’s still hard to believe!
Although Summer is walking in the unknown, I love her faith filled, I WILL NOT cower and God WILL MOVE attitude!
Check out a couple of her Facebook updates from yesterday…

“As I was talking to God on my way to Academy this morning (to buy some comfy clothes) I told Him that there is no fear of the unknown. What He quickly told me back was that there is no fear because He “knows” what the future holds and because He is my Abba Father (my daddy) I trust Him and fear can not overtake me. Good stuff!” ~ Summer

“The world’s report is stage 3 cervical cancer but my God says I AM HEALED! We are standing on God’s word. There is no fear. I start Chemo as early as Monday and then radiation 5 days a week. Just know our GOD IS GOOD and FAITHFUL and He will give me grace for each day!” ~ Summer
So the reason for my post is to ask YOU to do 2 things for me…

PRAY for the Kempfer family.
Visit Summer on Facebook and post on her wall, let her know you are praying for her.

Thank you so much for taking time to speak life into Summer’s soul!!
- Chris Sprad from www.epicparent.tv

happy happy birthday bauer

2011-12-10T15:19:00.001-06:00

Today is Bauer's 4th birthday!

He is the wildest & sweetest dog I've ever been around. He definitely thinks he only weighs about twenty lbs (as opposed to his real weight of 71 lbs!). He loves to sit in our lap. He is always trying to bury or hide any toy we give him. I find stuff in the weirdest places!

Bauer's Red Velvet Cream Cheese Birthday Cookies!

These are the best cookies ever!

Bauer keeping an eye on the cookies during the cooling process.

Someone is not very happy with his Mama! I only let Dudley have a half of a cookie since we have him on a strict diet. He literally laid on the rug in the living room and cried for about 10 minutes. He has no clue that he is a dog. He will probably pout for the rest of the day......I promise I'm not joking.
(don't worry...we know that we are crazy dog people!)

baby cash

2011-12-09T12:29:00.000-06:00

Last night we celebrated the upcoming arrival of Baby Cash. K looks absolutely awesome. I cannot believe that she is this little with only 7 weeks left in her pregnancy. It was a fun night with some great ladies!

restoration

2011-12-09T09:11:00.002-06:00

"Just physical existence in grief is not what Christ died to bring us. He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. As impossible and unreachable as this truth may seem, God can restore abundant life.

Our hope, born of suffering has produced more perseverance than we ever thought possible. So my prayer over the past week has and will continue to be, Father, please continue to bring me along so that I can rejoice in my sufferings because I know that suffering produces perseverance and perseverance, hope (Romans 5:3). You are the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Please transform my thorn into a flower. Bring sunshine after the rain..."
- Mae - A Different Remedy Blog

stillness

2011-12-06T08:00:00.002-06:00

I started out my morning by reading the blog post below. I have never heard this experience described so eloquently. Bryant and I have struggled to explain this exact thing to people. In the midst of such tragic heartache, we definitely saw God's glory revealed to us in a new way on the morning that we lost Nate.

We are so thankful for the gift we have in Jesus. I pray that this will encourage you to know that He is our Hope in every situation.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Stillness...

Being still is hard for me. I'm pretty sure it's an instinct God has implanted in all women. It's just hard for a woman in general to not be able to get up and plan, serve, and take care of her family. Now, I am the one being being taken care of and its humbling. It reminds me that I need others and that most of all... I need Him. My dearest friend, Julia, who came from Nashville to comfort us, gently yet firmly in love reminded me..."You don't have to be strong Mae, not now."

December 4, 2011 is a day that we will never forget. The day we received the honor of seeing sweet Ellanie Beth Roper drift into this world and drift out at the same time. Life is so precious. The Lord truly opened my eyes to see the beauty in this gift through the birth of our amazing Emmalyn and He revealed it to us in a whole new way through the life of baby Ella. Holding all 7 inches and 1 pound of her was like holding God's glory in the palm of my hand. The intricate details of her tiny face, hands, and feet... the astonishing way that her nose resembled Emmalyn's and how she had her Daddy's long fingers and toes... the warmth I felt when holding her, even though her heart wasn't beating... and the way He allowed us to see right past the physical defect of her skull to see only beauty in its fullest form, confirmed that His glory is in everything if we'll only focus our eyes on the cross and allow ourselves to see it.

I was reminded of the old hymn... "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." My amazing family sang this to me as we held baby Ella, and each other, and she drifted into the arms of our Savior into eternity. A moment that as parents, Jeremy and I will treasure for the rest of our lives. We are reminded that there is nothing we go through that He does not endure with us. His compassion for us through the cross is always proof of that. He sacrificed His only Son so that when we endure pain, sorrow, and grief we have a living hope to cling to in Christ. So, He knows loss and his compassion is everlasting.

Sarah Groves wrote a song a few years ago after enduring the loss of an infant called It Might Be Hope. I remembered these words this morning as my husband helped me out of bed, my feet hit the floor, I grabbed the small pillow from our memorial box that held Ella's head, and reality hit me. Unswervingly we hold fast to hope. Hope that is eternal and even moreso than ever, we yearn for heaven... we yearn for glory.

You do your work the best that you can
you put one foot in front of the other
life comes in waves and makes its demands
you hold on as well as you're able
You've been here for a long long time

Hope has a way of turning its face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

Several have asked about the Ellanie Beth Memorial Fund and how you may help in that way. Please know that this is a gesture of love that our family of believers at North Highlands Baptist Church has organized so that it is easy and efficient for any that felt led of the Spirit to give. We are ever so grateful and just want to share how you may access that. Just visit her giving page & follow the instructions from there. It will ask for the first 3-5 digits of the zip code of the organization you which to donate in and that is 35023. You can also just donate by sending a check or money order to:

Ellanie Beth Roper Memorial Fund
North Highlands Baptish Church
4851 15th Street Rd.
Hueytown, AL 35023

Again, thank you for your prayerful thoughts, actions, and words of encouragement during this time. Please do remember us in the journey ahead as we know that healing takes time and it starts at the cross, where His blood covers us.

photos that are in the "to be blogged" file....

2011-11-28T11:54:00.000-06:00

I will be blogging about these photos soon...

conversation

2011-11-13T13:47:00.000-06:00

*Disclaimer - If you do not want to read about a certain feminine hygiene product...stop reading now.*

*In our family, we don't all give each other gifts. I buy for the kids. Sister Woman is upset because she told us not to buy anything for the baby. She said if we buy something for the baby then she has to buy something for us....yes, we are really embracing the meaning of the holiday. The following is a series of emails between Sister Woman and myself.*

Sister Woman: What do you want for Christmas? By-rant too?

Me: a hippopotamus....small...pink

Sister Woman: Really. I'm not playing

Me: Ok, I really want my two front teeth.

Sister Woman: You are awful. I am going to buy you reusable/washable maxi pads for Christmas. Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Organic-Reusable-Cloth-Menstrual-Leak-Proof/dp/B002IUAJNI

That's what you are getting.

favorite time of the year....

2011-11-12T16:18:00.000-06:00

Since our schedule (life) is so crazy during the fall and especially around the holidays, I try to get my house decorated for Christmas before Thanksgiving and the Iron Bowl. It normally takes me a solid two weeks to get everything done. I'm working on several really cute projects this year. I will try to make myself find some time to blog about them.
More pictures coming soon!

fall festivities

2011-11-01T10:13:00.000-05:00

Farmer Bryant & Cowgirl Courtney at Cornerstone's annual Trunk or Treat event.

Cornerstone Cowgirls a.k.a. Cornerstone Kids' Ministry Team

These wanted posters were too cute!

We were tired and under the weather last night so we didn't do the whole trick or treat thing. I was so thankful that our house didn't get egged. I did take pictures of the dogs....I never miss an opportunity to put clothes on them! Poor boys.

I apologize for this scary picture of me with no make-up on...

...the dogs were too cute not to post it.

Happy November!

a beautiful day on The Plains....

2011-10-31T14:51:00.000-05:00

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to tailgate and cheer on our Auburn Tigers!

Fun times with our tailgate family!

dreams

2011-10-19T16:50:00.003-05:00

I like to ask questions. I like to know people's stories and why they are the way they are. I got asked a really good question today.

What is something you dream about the would surprise people if the knew?....

I dream about a simple life. I want to move back to the country. I want to have 50+ acres and build a house right in the center. I want to have a farm...horses, chickens & pigs. I want six dogs...maybe more. I want to be a homemaker. I want to sew, knit & bake. I want my children to have room to run, play & explore like I did as a child. I want a huge garden and know how to grow things. I want to drink coffee in a rocking chair on a huge wrap around porch every morning and watch the sunrise. I want to be able to see stars at night and not hear a single car, train, ambulance or fire truck. I want a place for my family to call home for generations and generations to come. I want life to slow down. Simple living...that's my dream.

SJP - 12 weeks

2011-10-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

war eagle!

2011-09-25T20:38:00.001-05:00

Here are a few pictures from our Saturday on The Plains!

dudley on a diet

2011-09-22T15:15:00.000-05:00

Dudley boy is on a diet.

Today is Day 1 of his doggy diet boot camp.

He is almost 20 lbs overweight. That is a really big deal for a dog. Hopefully, we will have him looking trim & slim in no time!

turning one is so much fun!

2011-09-21T15:11:00.001-05:00

We celebrated sweet baby C's first year of life on Saturday.

It was a lovely party!

J never ceases to amaze me with her talents & creativity!

J is such a wonderful friend. She is one of the most genuine people I know. She pours so much into the friendships & relationships in her life. She has walked beside me through the good, bad and ugly of the past couple of years. Thank you J.

I am so blessed to have a friend like you.

n is for nate

2011-09-15T11:14:00.000-05:00

n is for nate....g is for garrison...
It's amazing how something so small can send a wave of grief through me so quickly. The wave of grief can be so painful I feel like I'm right back there, in that moment...staring at that tiny white coffin we put him in. It's like no time has passed. I think this is something I'll experience for the rest of my life. For the most part, I've become a pro at handling these moments. Unfortunately, grief doesn't work on my schedule. I wish I could ask grief to only hit or show it's ugly face when I'm alone. I don't like for anyone to see me hurt. I nearly have a panic attack if I feel like I'm going to be put in an emotional situation if front of people. Somehow in my mind, emotion equals weakness or not being in control. If I had to pick the worst thing about grief it would be the lack of control. Grief can be sudden and sneaky. It can hit you so hard it feels like you've literally been knocked off of your feet.
I saw a "n is for nate" wall art canvas yesterday on etsy. I had "starred" it as one of my favorites. Some days I look around the office and try to imagine his nursery......It still amazes me that it normally is the small, tiny, seemingly insignificant things that can cause me to lose it.
September 3 (Nate's due date)has come and gone again. I know I shouldn't hold onto this date since it really doesn't have any ties to Nate. I think it's more difficult for me in some ways then May 6 (Nate's birth & death day). It is a huge reminder of "what should have been".
I had a conversation about trying to get pregnant again yesterday. Pregnancy for me represents pain, sorrow & grief. For us, pregnancy does not mean that you bring home a healthy breathing baby at the end of 40 weeks. For those of you who have asked....I did have a conversation about it. That's more than I've done in the past year. I've had to focus so much on my own health this past year. I feel like I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with all of the health issues and my shoulder injury. I am so ready for all of that to be behind us. Unless I just completely change my thoughts on the matter, I will not be telling anyone when/if we get pregnant again. I will be (hopefully) far along before any knows.
Grandma update - Thank you so much for your kind messages and prayers for my Grandma. Her surgery was successful. She got transferred to the rehab facility on Monday. She will be there for a couple of weeks. I know she just wants to be at home. I hate seeing her quality of life being so poor. It has definitely been a challenge for the entire family. I wish I was closer and could do more.

happy (late) birthday to B.

2011-09-12T09:07:00.000-05:00

B turned 28 on Friday. I know to some of you that may be very young. It's not to us. I cannot believe we are approaching 30. Don't get me wrong...30 is not "old" to me at all. The hangups we have about our age are more about the fact that it's a reminder that our life is so off course. We had a plan. There should be babies...several of them. We should be living on a farm out in the country. (I know that might shock some of you but that is definitely a dream we still hope to accomplish.) I am not, nor will I ever be, completely at home in the city. Growing up in the country is one of the best gifts my parents gave me. I hope to do the same for my children.
Anyway, back to B. He is now 28. He had a fun time celebrating his birthday with all things AU football. Thankfully, the team heard my "prayers" and won the game for B. It was a nail biter against Miss St. B's parents & sweet brother J were in town to participate in all of the birthday festivities. It was not the greatest photo day...too hot and sweaty...here are a few of the pictures from the weekend.

I didn't get any pictures of Mr. C. Sorry!
I will do better next time.

Happy Birthday to you B. Here's to hoping 28 is the best year yet! Love you.

sweet Irene

2011-09-06T08:03:00.000-05:00

Grandma is having surgery today. Her last surgery to repair her broken leg didn't fix the issue. She is in a ton of pain. I hate that this is her life now. She had to be rushed to the hospital last week. On top of everything, she is having issues with her heart too. Her surgery is supposed to take place this afternoon. We would appreciate your prayers. I am so ready for her to be out of pain....

wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T09:33:00.000-05:00

catching up...

2011-08-25T19:43:00.000-05:00

I have been a very bad blogger lately. Here are some of the things that have happened since my last post....

I am now the proud owner of a big to do juicer! Juicing isn't bad at all. I thought it was going to be nasty and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not doing the drastic juice cleanse but I am doing juice drinks twice a day. One of my favorite drinks is a "green drink" that consists of kale, romaine lettuce, spinach, pears, ginger, apples & a lemon. Here is a picture...

Trust me...it isn't bad at all. It's amazing the amount of nutrients and vitamins you can add to your diet by juicing. In one drink I can get 5-6 servings of fruit & veggies. I view my health in a completely different way now. It is such a priority for me. I am going to take pictures the next time I juice. Stay tuned for more juicing blog posts...

Sister Woman & D. Piddy are loving every minute with SJP. She is six weeks old now...it's going by so fast. She is precious.

It's hard not living near my sisters and my nephews and nieces. It's sad that I only see them a handful of times during the year. One day we will all live together in a big huge family compound..;-)

Shoulder rehab is going really well. I am believing that this shoulder injury might finally be getting close to being over! The last year and a half have been tough. I still can't lift more than about 2-5 lbs but it is so wonderful to not have that pain anymore!

I apologize because this is just a really boring post....starting to ramble so I'm going to end it here.

2011-08-11T09:13:00.000-05:00

So...my health has been on a steady decline for the past two years. We have no idea what this is all about either. Seriously, if it can break or go downhill it will...in reference to my body. If I told you all of the things I was dealing with at the moment your head would spin. Sometimes I think that they have mixed up my test results and blood work with an 350lb 85 year old who has been unhealthy their entire life.

Tomorrow night I will embark on a juice fast. Nothing but juice & water. I'm scared and already dreading it but it is helping a ton of sick people like me get well. B & I watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" the other night. I highly recommend it to all of you. We love a good documentary! Another documentary is "Food Matters". It will definitely make you think about everything you put in your body. Basically, what we eat determines how we feel. Food can be medicine.

Hopefully, I can do it and it won't be to gross! I'll keep you posted.
Happy Thursday to all of you.

2011-08-07T21:05:00.000-05:00

This little girl is definitely related to me....those chubby thighs leave no doubt.

8 years...

2011-08-02T10:11:00.000-05:00

B...

I don't even have the words to say thank you for all that you have done and had to do this past year. There is no sugar coating it. The seventh year was harder than we ever thought it would be. It has been full of frustration, sickness, surgeries, financial stress and recoveries..You have navigated through all of this and never forgot the promise you made to me 8 years ago. I know that for every time I've been ready to quit and stop trying you have had enough perseverance and strength for the both of us. Thank you.

I wish more than anything we could have the family we planned on and dreamed about having. It seems like this is becoming more and more of an unreachable goal. One day....

You have also brought fun days & happy times into our life this past year. I am so grateful that you haven't let me sink. I appreciate every time you've push me to be as much of my old self as I can be.

For every tear you've wiped away, every shirt I've stained with mascara, every early morning conversation, every horrible bad day you've had to endure, every time I've been stubborn, for the times that I've wanted to give up, for all of the days & some nights we have spent in doctor's offices and hospitals,for every TJ Maxx trip, for all of the laundry you've had to fold & meals you've had to cook......thank you.

You are my very best friend in this world.

I love you.

thanks

2011-07-24T17:09:00.000-05:00

I am very limited on how much typing I can do right now. Just wanted to say a big thank you for all of the calls, emails, comments & messages. I'm so blown away by how many of you have signed up to bring us meals. Thank you J for organizing this. I love & appreciate all of you. 

Surgery Recovery Update - Day 3 was the worst...Day 4 has been painful but I feel like things are improving. I know that I'll definitely be out for the count for the next two+ weeks. This recovery is going to be different than the first shoulder surgery. I couldn't move my shoulder for 6 weeks last time. They did something completely different this time so when the pain stops I can start moving my arm/shoulder again. I still have months of physical therapy ahead of me but I'm excited to know that I won't have to wait six weeks before even moving my shoulder/arm. Right now, I'm not doing much of anything. It hurts to stand up and walk around. I'm just hanging out in the bed and on the couch. This isn't easy for me at all. I'm trying to be a good patient and follow the rules. 

one week and three days

2011-07-24T16:19:00.000-05:00

second shoulder surgery....check

2011-07-22T06:06:00.000-05:00

Surgery went well. I will give more details later. In a lot of pain right now. Thankful that my parents are here to help B this weekend. Thank you for all of your prayers!

here we go again...

2011-07-19T20:50:00.000-05:00

Shoulder surgery number two...this Thursday. I cannot believe we are doing this again. I'm praying that this will be the beginning of the end of this whole ordeal. I never imagined falling last year would have caused this much damage to my shoulder.
I would love your prayers early Thursday morning. We have to be at the hospital around 5:00am.
I would also love book & movie suggestions. Nothing scary....

Thanks for all of your sweet emails & comments.

it's hard to say goodbye.

2011-07-17T21:14:00.000-05:00

SJP is doing great. She is definitely one very loved little girl. It has been so neat to see Sister Woman turn into such a loving & caring mother. Her daddy is doing awesome too. I hate that I'm 8 hours away...

I am exhausted. It has been a very emotional couple of days....excited, nervous, anxious, happy, overjoyed, heart broken, sad, back to happy, completely in love.....

I'm home. I have a million things to do before having shoulder surgery #2 on Thursday. We will be visiting the lovely city of Birmingham, AL for the surgery. I cannot wait until I will have two working arms/shoulders. I would appreciate your prayers on Thursday morning around 7:00am.

CC & SJP

2011-07-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

Scarlett Jane

2011-07-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

SJP is here.

Scarlett Jane arrived this morning around 8:15am...

7 lbs 15 ounces - 20 inches long

She is perfect & healthy.

I am so thankful that she is here. Her parents definitely think she is a keeper. More pictures coming soon...

she is almost here...

2011-07-12T08:57:00.000-05:00

I feel like there is so much to blog about lately but I haven't had the time to do so. Tomorrow I leave for KY. Sister-Woman is having a scheduled C-section first thing Thursday morning. SJP has decided to be stubborn and stay breached.
Once I return from KY, B & I will be heading to B'ham....shoulder surgery #2 is scheduled for Thursday, July 21. I honestly cannot even believe that I'm going to have to do this again. We are just hoping and praying that this will be the beginning of the end for this whole shoulder saga.

Be prepared for the blog to be flooded with pictures over the next few days!

love these kids..

2011-07-11T08:52:00.000-05:00

I stole these off of my sister's blog. Thanks D. These kiddos are getting so big...so fast.

Love them...a bunch.

Happy 4th of July

2011-07-04T23:28:00.000-05:00

Today has been a great day. We have been surrounded by friends, laughter & great food. I am so thankful to live in America. This is something that seems to have gotten lost on my generation. I am so thankful for freedom. I cannot imagine the sacrifice of mothers & fathers, wives & children and families who have loved ones serving overseas and away from home. I am so thankful for those who protect us here and all over the world.

We watched the fireworks with Sweet K & J & The fabulous L & B.

(Sorry - it's a phone picture at night.)

Happy 4th of July!!!

today

2011-06-30T10:19:00.000-05:00

devotion:
"I will satisfy you needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. I have perfect knowledge of your body's condition. Your frame was not hidden from Me when you were made in secret. I handcrafted you Myself; you are fearfully and wonderfully made!
I am the Gardener, and you are My garden. Even when you are enduring sun-scorching trials I can satisfy your needs and keep you well watered, like a spring whose water never fail. To receive My unfailing provisions, you need to trust Me and thank Me - no matter what."

scripture:
"The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose water never fail." Isaiah 58:11

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
Psalm 16:11

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."
Psalm 119:105

seventy years

2011-06-28T14:37:00.002-05:00

Happy 70th Wedding Anniversary to my

Grandma & Papa!

I love you both so much!

wordless wednesday

2011-06-22T14:51:00.000-05:00

sweet dudley

monday monday....

2011-06-20T10:23:00.000-05:00

"Monday Monday, so good to me, Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be" Any TMaTP fans out there?

I love Monday mornings! I have a crazy schedule. Basically, I work everyday. About two months ago I declared Monday mornings as a no work zone! To be honest though...I'm somewhat of a workaholic. It's ok because I'm married to the biggest workaholic of all. We like to work...love to be busy. Busy is good. All of you therapist out there please don't start analysing me. I completely understand that the reason I like to be so busy is because I use it as a distraction. I'm definitely a work in progress. At least I know it!

Last week was a whirlwind. Grandma's health took a serious decline. Tues/Wed I honestly wasn't sure if she was going to make it. She had an infection that got into her bloodstream. She was basically non-responsive for almost 24 hours. They finally found an antibiotic that worked. She is now back at the rehab facility that she has been at since her last fall several weeks ago. Her leg & hip are healing well from surgery. I just want her to be home. She is 90. I hate that she is spending this last stage of her life in hospitals and rehab facilities. She and my Papa will be celebrating 70 years of marriage on June 28. 70 years of marriage!!

I must get up and do something productive with my day...first stop - PT w/ the marvelous Paula.

Happy Monday!

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T17:22:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day to my dad.

Jesus & the Dr's office

2011-06-14T09:50:00.000-05:00

Over the past two years I been in a lot of doctor's offices. I've seen a lot of nurses and medical professionals. There hasn't been an appointment that I don't have a huge sadness almost overwhelm me. It's been tough. I never imagined I would be in this place at 26. I'm so immune to tests, procedures and having blood drawn. It's almost like I don't even feel the needles anymore. That's not normal. I've done a lot of thinking and reflecting over the past two years while waiting to see doctors. The question that always pops into my mind is.."How did I get here?". The worst part is when I sit down with the nurse. She starts asking all of the normal questions..."How many surgeries have you had?", "What medicines do you take?", "What are the major medical conditions you've experienced?".....and my all-time favorite "How many pregnancies?", which is always followed by.. "How many live births?" It always stings to have to write 4 pregnancies - 0 live births. The worst visits are when the nurse asks me all of these questions instead of me just filling out a form. I can't tell you how many nurses that have been brought to tears from hearing our story. I've become so used to it that I'm sure at times I come across very cold & calloused. I've totally missed what an incredible opportunity I've been given. In the past week I was able to have a conversation with a nurse that has stayed with me. I had finished telling her all of my medical drama and she asked, "Can the Lord really give you the strength and peace to get through delivering a dead baby? Can He really make a difference in your life?" I realized at that moment even in all of the craziness the Lord is working. It's so easy to forget that there are people all around us everyday searching for something. I am praying that the Lord will help me be more intentional with the people I come in contact with. I'm seeing more and more everyday how the Lord is fulfilling His promises to us. He is working things for our good. I am so thankful that He is always faithful...even when I'm not faithful to Him. Bryant and I are praying that the Lord will continue to use our lives and our story for His glory.

" We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him.

They are the people he called, because that was his plan."

Romans 8:28

Camp Cornerstone 2011

2011-06-12T21:21:00.000-05:00

Camp Cornerstone 2011

We have had a fun week. It will probably take a couple of weeks for me to catch up on all of the sleep I've missed. It was such an great experience to see the kids & families of Cornerstone come together to worship, have fun & serve our community. I am SO thankful to be blessed with such an awesome job.

SJP

2011-06-01T22:12:00.000-05:00

Sister Woman will be 33 weeks pregnant tomorrow!
I am so thankful.
For those of you who don't know...nephews & nieces are awesome.
I keep telling my sisters that one day I'm going to make B build a huge house that we can all live in....a barn and a pool too.

update

2011-05-30T12:21:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all of the sweet emails and messages about my Grandma. She had surgery and is now at the rehab facility. She will be there for several weeks. My heart is so sad that she is having to spend her time like this. Prayers are definitely still needed...thanks again.

Summer is here in full force again. I am not a fan of the summer months. Alabama summers can be brutal and this one is shaping up to be a very hot one. We are experiencing 92 & 93 degree temps already....July & August will be rough. Summers will never look the same to me after losing Nate. I associate this time of year with losing him....

We spent some time with our dear friends C & N yesterday. N's mom passed away on Saturday night. It is hard to believe we are getting to the stage in our lives where we have friends losing parents. I can't imagine not having my parents in my life. So sad for my dear friend...tough days ahead.

prayers for Grandma

2011-05-20T10:49:00.000-05:00

My sweet Grandma Irene fell last night. She will be heading into surgery to repair her broken hip sometime later this afternoon (this is basically the same injury she had last year on her other hip after falling). I would appreciate your prayers.

a big THANK YOU

2011-05-15T22:46:00.000-05:00

I didn't have time to write anything in the last post. Life is really busy right now. Sometimes it's so easy to get overwhelmed with how busy our lives have become. I wanted to send out a big THANK YOU to all of our friends & family who were apart of Team Baby Nate 2011. Also, thank you to all of the people who donated money to our team & the March of Dimes. Bryant and I appreciate all of you so very much. I was disappointed that I wasn't more organized about getting pictures with all of our team members...I was a little crazy on the day of the walk. I am still amazed at how many of you decided to partner with us this year!

That is it for tonight.

pictures!

2011-05-14T17:11:00.000-05:00

to the Moms in my life!

2011-05-08T12:17:00.001-05:00

To my Mama - You have taught me to be confident in who I am. You have been my greatest teacher and role model. You have passed down a legacy of Faith and a love for Jesus. You have always made me feel like there is nothing I can't achieve with hard work and perseverance. You have loved me when I have been anything but lovable. I am so thankful to have you in my life. I love you Mama.

To my Grandma - I love you so much. I am thankful to have your influence and unconditional love. You are such a treasure!

To my mother in law - Thank you so much for raising your son to be the caring and selfless person that he is. I love you!

To my sisters - I love you both. Dee - You are such a great Mama! Rae - I cannot wait to see you with SJP. I promise you will figure it all out...if not, I'm only 8 hours away!

To those who don't have their mother here anymore...praying that today you will find comfort in the memories you have with your mother.

For all of the women longing to be mothers and to the mothers with empty arms...May the peace the passes all understanding be with you today.

March for Babies 2011

2011-05-07T22:09:00.000-05:00

Team Baby Nate raised almost $7500! The March for Babies was a huge success. We had a great day with some of our dearest friends and family. Thanks to all of you!

I will post all of the pictures soon!

May 6....

2011-05-06T22:54:00.000-05:00

Thank you for all of the cards, flowers, calls, emails and prayers.

We have comfort in knowing that our Nate is with Jesus.

two years...

2011-05-05T22:12:00.001-05:00

I just looked at the clock. 9:25pm....Two years ago tonight we had no idea how much our lives were about to change. At 9:25pm on May 5, 2009 I was just beginning to realize that something was horribly wrong. I had made it to the bedroom and ended up laying on the floor due to the amount of pain that I was suddenly in. The pain that I experienced that night was indescribable..I don't think I'll ever have words to completely explain it. I was barely able to talk. Bryant had come into the room and in one of the 10 second breaks I would have between these "pains" (which we now know were contractions) I was able to say, "Something is very wrong, get me to the hospital." I couldn't even walk. Bryant had to carry me to the car. The ride to EAMC that night seemed like hours even though Bryant said we got there in about 11 minutes. I would have a few seconds to recover before getting hit by the excruciating pains. In those moments I was telling Bryant to tell my Mama and Daddy and my sisters that I loved them. Even now I have chills thinking about it. I really thought I was going to die in the car and never see my family again. Fast forward about an hour when my water breaks and the tone of everything changed. I remember saying over and over again "Oh no, Oh no, Oh no....." I probably said it 25-30 times. Then I immediately starting apologizing to Bryant. He was exactly what I needed him to be that night. He knew the right words to say to calm me down and keep me calm. They were telling him that I would not leave the hospital bed, nurses were coming in giving me steroid shots, one was hooking up a magnesium iv to try and stop contractions....it was unbelievable how fast everyone was working around us. Bryant had to make the phone calls to our parents. I remember being so scared and needing my parents as if I were 3 years old again. Both sets of parents made it to Auburn in record time....We just had no idea what was coming.

The worst moments I've ever experienced came several hours later.....our baby had died. Our precious baby boy who we had prayed for for months and months, the baby that we had been preparing to love and raise....he was gone. In an instant everything changed. I honestly don't know the people that we were before May 6, 2009. Bryant and I have cried a million tears, felt every horrible step of grief and literally ached in a physical way for our baby boy.

I remember how amazed I was when I saw him. He looked just like Bryant. He was going to be a mini-me of his daddy. I remember how incredible it was for me to see his fingers and toes. They were identical to mine. The most difficult day ever.

I would have never imagined that two years would have passed and we would still be just the two of us. I definitely wouldn't have ever thought that I would have experienced losing two more babies after going through the tragedy of losing Nate.The nursery has been converted to my office. All of the baby items have been sent to Sister Woman. Someone could come to our house now and never know that a baby should be here.

Oh how I would love to be planning a two year old birthday party. I would love to be dealing with everything that comes with the terrible twos. I would love to be stressed from all that I would be dealing with from having a young child at home. I would love for toys to be everywhere.....

Bryant and I are in a good place. The comfort and peace that we have experienced from the Lord has been what has sustained us. The hope that we have in Jesus and the fact that he has overcome death and the grave is our strength. I will hold my baby one day. One day we will be restored and our family will be complete.....there are several babies that will be waiting on me in heaven.

So tomorrow I will go to the cemetery and will be thankful. Even if it was just for a short time, I had the privilege of being Nate's mother. I will be thankful for every time I got to feel him kick and move inside of me. I will be thankful that I have a husband who has stood by me through some very dark days. I will be thankful that we have such an amazing community of people surrounding us and supporting us. I will be thankful that we are stronger and that we know Jesus in a way that I don't think we ever would have.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!”

Revelations 21:4-5

sweet home alabama....

2011-04-30T16:23:00.000-05:00

Our state was hit by massive and destructive tornadoes on Wednesday.
Please pray for Alabama. Hundreds of people are dead and hundreds are still missing.....

tough days ahead

2011-04-22T15:41:00.000-05:00

It's almost been two years. At times that seems unbelievable and then in the next moment it feels like this has been our reality for years and years. B and I were talking the other night about everything. It's been a really rough week for me and I know I've got several more coming. I think we both really thought this year would be easier because we had convinced ourselves that by the two year mark we would definitely have had another baby.
Of course, we live in no type of fantasy world where we think having another baby will fix or heal any of the hurt that we feel from losing Nate. Babies don't fix people. Babies don't heal people. I feel like our family will be able to move forward once we have another child, but we will never be complete here....ever.

Today more than ever - I am so thankful for the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. I know that death is not forever. He has made a way for us to have our family complete again. I am so thankful that the story didn't end with him on the cross! This is the hope I'm clinging to today...

another great night

2011-04-21T09:45:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone who came to Chick-fil-A and supported Team Baby Nate and the March of Dimes. I know that a ton of you came through the drive-thru too! We appreciate all of your kind words of encouragement. We are working hard to meet our goal of $5000. It's not to late to donate. Every dollar counts....Go to our Team Baby Nate - March for Babies website if you would like to make a donation.
We are making a difference..one $ at a time!

team baby nate is getting a lot of love

2011-04-16T15:11:00.000-05:00

Don't forget to check out Martha's Trouble's special cd promo! 25% of sales go to support Team Baby Nate!!

For all of you Kelly's Kids clothes lovers out there - our sweet friend Tracey has been taking orders over the past few weeks and donating 10% to Team Baby Nate. She is continuing to take orders until April 22! Contact Tracy if you would like to place an order! Her email is tracyspratlin@bellsouth.net

Another friend of ours is offering to donate 10% of all sales from her etsy store from now until May 7! Please go and check out her store, Arwens Child! Thanks so much Deb!

A big Thank You to the Baxter Family!! Sidney and Maggie raised almost $90 at their bake sale and lemon stand this morning for The March of Dimes! Way to go girls!

We hope to see all of you at Chick-Fil-A at Tigertown on Monday night from 5-8pm!!

Lots going on right now!!

some pictures...

2011-04-15T15:45:00.000-05:00

Thanks so much to everyone who supported us at Panera Bread. We are in full March for Babies mode these days. Only a few more weeks until the big day. We have another fundraiser planed at Chick-fil-A at TigerTown on Monday night from 5-8pm. Hope to see all of you there!

I have a ton of things to blog about but too much going on right now to do so....more to come later..

martha's trouble & team baby nate

2011-04-14T08:08:00.000-05:00

Buy Direct From MT
Click here

25% of sales will be donated to
Team Baby Nate

to make sure your purchase is creditedEnter Promo Code

"babynate"

at checkout

Thank you so much for supporting this!

Martha's Trouble is proud to support Team Baby Nate & The March of Dimes.
Now until May 7, we will be donating 25% of all sales of our new album ANCHOR TATTOO to Team Baby Nate.
We hope you will participate in helping us with this great cause.
1. Buy a digital download $10
2. Buy physical CD $12
All orders are fulfilled by Martha's Trouble.

To ensure your purchase is credited to Team Baby Nate, be sure to enter
PROMO CODE "babynate"
at check out.

BUY NOW

We wrote a song inspired by Bryant & Courtney called "The Sun Will Shine Again" which is track 4 on the new album, Anchor Tattoo.
The Sun Will Shine Again
written by Rob & Jen Slocumb

It was a cloudy day

I was expecting a ray of light

but the storm clouds came

and changed my life

It's almost September

my heart is heavier than sand

I feel like I'm sinking

but you keep reaching out your hand

Hold me in your arms

tell me it's gonna get better

It's been my darkest hour

tell me it's gonna get better

oh, I know that the sun will shine

the sun will shine again

Another sleepless night

my eyes are filling up with tears

the days were not enough

and I'm wishing he was here

I never imagined

I would end up in this place

broken and alone

and I feel I've lost my way

Hold me in your arms

tell me it's gonna get better

It's been my darkest hour

tell me it's gonna get better

oh, I know that the sun will shine

the sun will shine again

Rock a bye baby

in the tree top

when the wind blows

the cradle will rock

Rock a bye baby

in the tree top

when the wind blows

forever you'll be loved

Hold me in your arms

tell me it's gonna get better

It's been my darkest hour

tell me it's gonna get better

oh, I know that the sun will shine

the sun will shine again

Contact Martha's Trouble:
rob@marthastrouble.comjen@marthastrouble.com

For bookings:
booking@marthastrouble.com

PH:(323) 908-8406

www.marthastrouble.com

busy bee

2011-04-04T19:19:00.002-05:00

Fyi - Jersey Mike's fundraiser has been canceled.
Hope everyone is having a great week!

overwhelmed...in a good way.

2011-03-31T17:33:00.000-05:00

Thank you. To all of our friends, co-workers, church family, neighbors, local community & Team Baby Nate members who supported us last night...we appreciate all of you very much! I even got to meet some of my "blog friends"..Sarah & Tracy! (Just an FYI - I can now say that I "almost" know Darby and Erika. Sarah is one of their good friends!) Moe's said they were amazed at how packed the place was. We had around $2000 in total sales and Team Baby Nate will get 10% of that.

There were several moments were B and I just looked at each other and were almost in shock at how many people came out to support this cause and mission that is so dear to our heart. We have an amazing community supporting us. Our hearts are full today.

I know I've blogged about this before but since losing Nate I don't experience things the same way. Things..experiences...emotions...have a ton of layers now. For example, (Sister Woman won't mind me using her an the example) my sister is 24 weeks pregnant today. Every time she hits a new week milestone I feel like it's a small victory. It's not just a good thing, it's a great thing. It's also a really difficult thing for someone like me. This is the point that Nate never got past. It's a hard thing for her too. Like I said, lots of layers...good thing she is almost a psychologist.
This is my thought process about last night. What an awesome event. B and I felt so loved. Our heart is to support this charity and to find out why so many of these babies are being born so early. The support was unbelievable. Then the hard part comes...
I want to be sitting in a restaurant with my husband and my baby...and it hurts. It's amazing that it still hurts as badly as it does.

This is our life. It's not pretty all the time. This is as honest as it gets. Even through the pain and hurt, the hard moments & disappointments, we are so blessed and know that one day we will be restored in a way that we can't even comprehend.

That's it for today...

March for Babies...

2011-03-20T17:15:00.000-05:00

exciting events

2011-03-17T13:14:00.000-05:00


Wednesday, March 30th 5pm-9pm


Thursday, April 7th 5pm-9pm

Monday, April 11th 5:00-9:00pm


Monday, April 18th 5:00pm-8:00pm

more info coming soon....

an amazing gift

2011-03-11T11:47:00.000-06:00

Bryant and I were given an amazing gift in January of last year. Sweet J, of the band Martha's Trouble and a dear friend of ours, wrote a song about our journey of losing Nate, grieving him and the hope of what will come for us. She captured a lot of the exact emotions and feelings that I felt right after losing our baby boy. This gift meant so much to us. It was her way of saying that Nate mattered and a way of validating the grief that I felt from losing him.

I am so happy to be able to share this with you. I've posted the lyrics below but you can click here to listen to the song. They have just released a new album titled "Anchor Tattoo".

Incredible musicians with an incredible message.....

To J & R....you have touched our hearts in such a way. Thank you for loving us and honoring Nate this way.

"The Sun Will Shine Again" by Martha's Trouble

for Bryant & Courtney Cloud

It was a cloudy day
I was expecting a ray of light
but the storm clouds came
and changed my life

It's almost September
my heart is heavier than sand
I feel like I'm sinking
but you keep reaching out your hand

Hold me in your arms
tell me it's gonna get better
It's been my darkest hour
tell me it's gonna get better
oh, I know that the sun will shine
the sun will shine again

Another sleepless night
my eyes are filling up with tears
the days were not enough
and I'm wishing he was here

I never imagined
I would end up in this place
broken and alone
and I feel I've lost my way

Hold me in your arms
tell me it's gonna get better
It's been my darkest hour
tell me it's gonna get better
oh, I know that the sun will shine
the sun will shine again

Rock a bye baby
in the tree top
when the wind blows
the cradle will rock

Rock a bye baby
in the tree top
when the wind blows
forever you'll be loved

Hold me in your arms
tell me it's gonna get better
It's been my darkest hour
tell me it's gonna get better
oh, I know that the sun will shine
the sun will shine again

credits

from Anchor Tattoo, released 01 February 2011
written by Jen Slocumb, Rob Slocumb

heavy heart

2011-03-11T10:41:00.000-06:00

Woke up this morning to images of floods, fires & earthquake destruction....
My heart is heavy for all of the people dealing with this horrible disaster.

our heart are full

2011-03-08T22:03:00.000-06:00

Bryant and I are blown away by your generosity.....
What you may not realize is that when you support our Team Baby Nate, you are honoring our sweet baby's memory. I have had tears streaming down my face as all of the donations have come in tonight.
Our hearts are full and running over with gratitude...

Thank you for honoring a tiny little babies memory. You will never understand what it means to his Mama and Daddy.

Thank you.

possibilities are endless....

2011-03-08T14:23:00.000-06:00

Thank you so much to those of you who have donated to Team Baby Nate!!
We are hoping that all of you will partner with us!

B and I are constantly reminded that we don't have Nate here with us. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him and the fact that we won't get to see him grow up. Those moments are really difficult. It's things like the March for Babies, and seeing good things come from all of this pain, that help those moments be bearable. It is our hearts desire to help this cause as much as we can. The March of Dimes is doing so much research to help figure out why premature labor is such a huge issue for pregnant women. They are helping find out ways to help premature babies survive and not have long term birth defects from their prematurity.
I have listened to so many families that have been helped by this organization and I definitely want to be apart of what they are doing!!

Please visit Team Baby Nate's website.

Thank you again..we couldn't do this without you.

Team Baby Nate - March for Babies 2011!

2011-03-06T18:21:00.000-06:00

Team Baby Nate is gearing up for the annual March for Babies walk! The March of Dimes is such a wonderful organization and one that really hits home for us. Last year's walk was such a great experience for us. It is so healing for both B and I to honor Nate's memory this way. It meant so much to have family and friends join us for last year's walk. This year the March for Babies walk will be held on the day after Nate's birthday.

We would LOVE your support this year! I know that not everyone can come and physically walk with us but I would ask that you consider donating money to this cause. If all of our friends/family would even donate just $1 or $5 it would help so much. This year I've set a very high goal for our team....$5000. We made it last year and I'm hoping to do it again!

Please visit our Team Baby Nate page to find out more info.

Thank you so much!

It's a......

2011-03-02T22:20:00.000-06:00

perfect
healthy
sweet
precious

BABY GIRL!

Definitely thought it was a little boy...
We are so happy and very thankful to get a good report.
This sweet baby girl is already loved by so many people...especially her Aunt C!

excited-nervous-anxious

2011-03-02T07:36:00.000-06:00

Today is the day that Sister Woman finds out how what she is having. It's also the ultrasound where they can get a good idea if everything has formed properly and if the baby is healthy. I am ready to hear good news and breathe a sigh of relief.

I'll let you know this afternoon...

Bide My Time - a band we love

2011-02-28T12:47:00.000-06:00

One of our favorite people in the world is following his dream along with his other bandmates. I am so happy when I see other people doing what they love!

I would love for you to find out more about Bide My Time and the journey that they are own to get their music recorded!

Bryant and I are so proud of you J! Don't forget us when you make it to the "big time"!

Sister Woman

2011-02-24T10:49:00.000-06:00

Sister Woman update - We will be finding out what the new addition to our family is in 6 days!

Bryant and I are definitely thinking it's a boy. Everyone really just wants a perfect, healthy little baby that will stay inside of her for at least 16 or 17 more weeks. I'm not sure if she will say it but they are definitely hoping for a little girl. It has been so good to have something to look forward too. I will post as soon as we know...maybe we will get new pictures too!

Coffee Alert: Burners must be turned off!

2011-02-23T14:43:00.000-06:00

Most of you will not understand the title of this blog post but it brought me a lot of joy this morning ;-) Love you Mrs. L.

I work with some great people...I always leave work with someone to laugh or smile about!
It is a gorgeous day in our lovely little town. This weather puts me in the best mood! Things always seem better when the sky in blue and the sun is shinning. Today is supposed to be "Wordless Wednesday" but I don't have a picture to post =-(
I will try to better next week.

Thanks again for all of your sweet messages/emails/comments.

come what may...

2011-02-21T10:43:00.002-06:00

"But if you decide you do want to know His will, there will be moments when you have to let go of the fear of what that might mean - when you have to release your grip of control on your life and decide to be led,

come what may."

- Francis Chan from Forgotten God

Come what may.....

That is the part that hit me. It's not giving the Lord control knowing things will go the way I want them to. It's saying take it all, have control of all of it....even when it hurts and it's painful. What does "come what may" look like in my life? How do I trust that no matter what I endure or have to go through in this life that He already knows and is already working it all for my good? It's really hard for me. In the times when I'm so frustrated and confused, I have to remind myself that B and I are still standing. The Lord has never allowed anything to come to us that He hasn't given us the strength and peace to endure. I think we hear that so much that we almost become desensitized to it. I know it always seemed very cliche to me until it became my reality. It wasn't until the desperation of not even knowing how to take another breath, get out of bed, or make it through another hour, happened in my life that all of the things I had been taught about who He was became so true. I am definitely in a moment of my life and at a crosswords where the fear of what might be takes over a lot. I wish I could say that through everything I've experienced I've learned so much but I obviously haven't if fear still wins out most days. I'm afraid of never having a child that I get to hold alive. I'm afraid of what losing another baby will do to who I am. I'm afraid of what it will do to my marriage. I'm afraid of being stuck. It's been so difficult these past two years that some days I'm just simply afraid of what is next. I'm constantly amazed at the faith my husband has. A word I have used to describe him many times is steadfast. (there have been times where that steadfastness had quickly turned into stubbornness!) He is always quick to remind me that God is good in every situation. Not only that, but he has embraced the pain of the past two years with a grace and perseverance that few people would have. I think the past two years I've been in the process of letting go of what I wanted my life to be, even if at times I've almost had to be forced to do so. I'm not sure if that will make sense to anyone but me.

So this is me today.
I've never apologized for being real and I probably won't start anytime soon. This blog has always been about my journey, even when it's not pretty. So thankful that even in the weakest moments..He is strong.

"Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

2 Corinthians 12:9

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T18:18:00.002-06:00

I love you more today than I did yesterday...

(FYI- I will be posting pictures of us at Toomer's Corner all year...we are still enjoying the National Championship win. This picture was taken by my favorite photographer and one of my sweetest friends - Heather Carson.)

Happy Valentine's Day.

even after all this time...

2011-02-06T15:53:00.000-06:00

Even after all of these months, I still get sad..really sad.

We keep a picture of Nate by our bed. It's as "normal" to me as any other picture in our house. Last night I was getting ready for bed and I set something down on the night stand. I looked at his picture and tears just started rolling down my face. I was taken aback by the strong emotional reaction I had to seeing a picture that I've looked at every single day for the past 2 1.2 years. It is almost unsettling to me to know that there is still such a well of sadness in my soul and at times an unbelievably intense longing to know that little boy. Life would be so different for us. Knowing me, I would already be in the planning stages for his two year old birthday party....I try very hard not to let my mind wonder about the what ifs...It's just too hard. I'm pretty sure it's always going to be like this. Life does move forward, the pain subsides and the grief settles...but I know I'll always wonder about who he would have been and the life he would have had if things had turned out differently.

shoulder surgery

2011-01-29T18:52:00.000-06:00

painful-sore-exhausted

I had shoulder surgery yesterday. Wow, it hurts. I have a long recovery in front of me. It will be worth it if I can have two working shoulders/arms again.

Maybe I'll get brave and post some post-op pictures that B took of me in the hospital.....

saying goodbye is a hard thing to do...pt. 1

2011-01-19T17:55:00.000-06:00

Change...auugghh I don't like it.
Hopefully, this is one of those things that will "get better with time".

I told my co-workers and preschool parents today that I will not be returning to teach preschool after my surgery next Friday. This is the best decision for B and I. It's going to be a huge change for me. Have I mentioned that I don't like change!?!

One of my favorites...

2011-01-16T21:06:00.002-06:00

Need some help!

2011-01-16T15:57:00.000-06:00

Brother Man is a teacher. He has a blog for his classroom. I'm trying to help him get hits on his blog from different locations. Would you please visit his blog...click here? His kids will love to know that people from all over are visiting the blog. Thanks so much!

a great friend...

2011-01-15T15:32:00.000-06:00

A great friend...someone who goes to the cemetery and makes sure your baby's grave is decorated for Christmas. Thank you for doing such a thoughtful thing for us. B and I love you very much!

Our family is growing...

2011-01-13T20:25:00.000-06:00

Sister Woman is expecting a sweet little miracle in July.

They are very excited...and so are we!

Wordless Wednesday!

2011-01-12T15:25:00.000-06:00

National Champions!

2011-01-11T16:49:00.000-06:00

"We are the champions...my friend!!" War Eagle!

2011

2011-01-05T20:14:00.000-06:00

2011 is here. Wow! 2010 flew by for us.......
I am so thankful for a new year.

We had a wonderful Christmas/New Year holiday break. Bryant and I spent a ton of time together at home....loved this! We really needed it. It was a good time to regroup and refocus on things. The last six months or so have been crazy for both us. I've been working crazy hours and we've just had a ton of stuff going on. Sometimes it's so great just to be still and slow down.....

January is turning out to be an eventful month for me....

- B finally built a desk for me! I now have an official office...pictures will come soon! I'm also working on a few other "projects" at our house that I'll blog about soon
- After 8 months of physical therapy on my shoulder I've decided to just bite the bullet and have surgery =-( I'm not excited about surgery at all but I'm excited about the idea of not being in pain and actually getting to sleep through the night again.
- Our dear friends S & J are having Baby N on January 28...excited for you guys!
- Some other big & exciting changes are happening but I can't tell you about them just yet...
- Something else I just thought of but I can't really talk about yet...don't you just love all of this that I'm talking about but not really talking about....
(Basically - I should have waited before I posted this so I could have actually written about 60% of the stuff that I'm excited about!)
- Auburn is playing in the National Championship Game!! WAR EAGLE! No, we are not going to Arizona...yes, we are sad about it.....There will definitely be Toomer's pictures posted if we win....

So...sorry about a really boring blog post with no pictures. I promise the blog will get more interesting in 2011.

goodbye 25

2010-12-27T22:30:00.000-06:00

Goodbye 25!

I'm trying to look at the positives when I think about this year...It's definitely not what I thought it would be. I had plans and dreams that didn't happened. I experienced pain and heartache again...disappointments and frustrations...

I've also made great memories, had so much fun, learned a lot, become stronger, hopefully a little wiser and definitely more aware of the amazing gift that Jesus gave me...That is the hope I have. The hope for a new year.

So year 26 get ready....here I come.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T11:05:00.000-06:00

Wishing all of our dear friends and family a very Merry Christmas. Praying that you will all experience the peace and hope that we have because of the greatest gift of all....Jesus!

Enjoying some great time with our family. Pictures will be posted soon!

from our little family to yours....

2010-12-18T13:56:00.000-06:00

Photography and card design by the fabulous Heather Carson...

www.carsonstudios.com

dreaming of a white Christmas!

2010-12-08T18:26:00.000-06:00

Toomer's Corner the morning after our Tigers won the SEC Championship game!!! War Eagle!!

I heart Aubie

2010-11-17T19:55:00.000-06:00

I love Aubie! He came to preschool to visit us on Monday. This has been an awesome football season. I should have said this in the last post.....our team is still undefeated 11-0!! War Eagle!

apologize =-(

2010-11-16T16:05:00.000-06:00

I am sorry. I have neglected my blog for an entire month! I have enjoyed the "sweet" comments and emails that some of you have sent reminding me that I still have a blog....;-) I have been a very busy girl lately. Here is a little snapshot of what's happened over the last month...

Sister Woman and D. Piddy came to town to visit

Mama and Daddy came for a visit too!

We have tailgated and cheered for our Auburn Tigers

WAR EAGLE!!!

I was Snow White at our church's Trunk or Treat

We put the dog's in pajamas for Halloween

This is just a tiny snapshot of the last month. Basically, I've been working a LOT. I am very blessed to have the jobs that I do so I can't complain. We are good. I promise I will update the blog soon! I hope that all of you are doing well!

War Eagle

2010-10-17T21:38:00.000-05:00

7-0!

Another great weekend on the Plains!

-War Eagle-